Idiots Inconvenience People, Because They are Idiots

As the snow has settled in the great town of Sheffield, all the people who own some sort of 4×4 have decided to go out and try drive about a bit. Sadly, due to their sheer ineptitude, this has generated issues all around the S postcode area.  

These attempts at tackling obstacles are not only peripherally amusing, but agonising to those who suffer at the habitual rituals of these brain-dead commuters. Prolonged sessions of staring into the wilderness, followed by a face down look of shame and despair; don’t seem to alter their predicament. Soon after, people management mantras are employed as countermeasure.

The majority of these events require a very simple solution; looking at the instruction manual of their cars.

As we live in a global society with markets spreading across traditional borders, the majority of mass produced vehicles are sold in multiple countries. Sometimes, this can even spread beyond European boarders. The majority of these vehicles are designed to overcome multiple climates, and require little more than to observe good practice.

Most of these situations and instructions, are covered in the user manual.

In some cases it’s just a bad idea to drive. This is not helpful if you have been standing around the majority of the day in the cold, and Monday looms in the balance. I can honestly understand your frustration.


Think of a box of playful kittens by a Christmas fire. Look how cute and confused they are. All tuckered out and trying to get comfy with all those other kittens wriggling about. Oh! One just popped out of the box and is curling up nearer the fire. He’s got the right idea. D’aww.

You feel that feeling? That is called calm.

The 1st ingredient of a successful car trip, is calm. A very important skill when dealing with a problem, is being able to summon and maintain a feeling of calm. Once you have that, look at the problem and make an assessment. After that, very calmly, reach into the glove box, and get the manual.

The majority of the time, there will be a super-helpful thing about the car that allows you to fix the problem you are experiencing almost immediately!

I implore everyone driving today, read the instructions. You might find out that there are a number of awesome things that your car does! Just have a little read tonight. In the meantime instead of waiting for god himself to pluck your car from the snow drift, understand that you are the least of the authories concern at that moment in time.

Please find a way to put your car to the side and walk. It’s a pain the arse I know, but people will just have to understand for now. People tend to be a bit more talkative and friendly when the weather is mad, go have fun!

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